Do's and Dont's

Y hablando de listas de gustos/disgustos, los "Do's and Dont's" de la revista Vice son lo más! Algunos ejemplos de este mes:

Dont's


Can you believe there’s still shitheads out there wearing trucker hats?



What is it with these flip-flop guys where they’re so smug and toe proud? They’re like those small-dicked men at the nude beach that want to come over, put a towel down on the chair next to you, and tell you about the giant turtle they saw. Get your disgusting male nudeness out of my face or I’m going to step on it.



We were at the park, minding our own business and trying to be kind, when these semiretarded homeless people sat right in front of us and began a 13-stage massage thing that involved so many inferred sexual positions it was like watching ugly porn. Can Katrina not come back through here and just do some quick spot sweeps?


Do's


Fifteen years ago you were laughing at these girls in the hallway yet kind of thinking to yourself, “This doesn’t feel quite right. What kind of nerd is funny enough to have a hat that says ‘Horny and Hairless’?” Now you’re all grown up and you’re like, “Wait, you guys are amazing?” and they’re all, “Fuck you, nigga. You snooze, you lose.”



One of the most important rules about being magic (not an illusions guy but literally magic) is that you can’t do it out in public where humans can see you. Unless, of course, you could give two shits what people think, and if you want to make an invisible chair appear under your ass you’re going to make an invisible chair appear under your ass. That’s called “fuck-off attitude” magic.



This guy’s ex-girlfriend kept trying to get us to put him in the DON’Ts because apparently he looks like a homeless Willy Wonka, but fuck that. When you work this hard on your look it shows that you’re not too cool for school, you’re not scared of being laughed at, and you’re here to participate, you know? He looks like Prince Pee Pee of the Discoputians or something and that’s a lot more than we can say for most people.



It’s cool to like poor people when they get older but right now, in their 20s it’s kind of hard to deny they are fucking losers. The way they dress at clubs with their fake tans and gelled hair and stupid expensive drinks they can’t afford. Who wouldn’t prefer some well-educated middle-class kids that know how to goof around in stupid outfits that took about five minutes to get together? It’s profoundly uncool to admit, but come on.